Warm Bier, Hot Lesbians & Smokin' Bats -or- This Post Sponsored By Mr. Rob; The Letter J

Way back in the day, when the Gorillas used another website to update our countless fans across the interwebs, we put out a list of "rules." They were kinda gay, but they were more or less a guideline to what makes us so successful at winning bullshit softball games on Tuesdays whilst being fat, drunk and mostly nonathletic.

While we've been pretty fucking good at winning, we've been even better at having a helluva time. And somewhere in the haze of a post victory celebration last night, we figured out exactly what allows us to have so much fun without ever having hot lesbians at our games.

Actually, it's three things: Winning, Team Chemistry, and most of all, Bier.

The great thing about Bier is that it's an integral part of us winning games and having good chemistry. If you've ever seen us getting our ass kicked and yelling at each other during a way-too-sober 6 o'clock game, then you know what we're talking about. Honestly, some of these guys are real assholes, so if we weren't drinking and hitting softballs, we would probably be doing meth and hitting each other. So yah, bier is important.

Breaking it down even further, there are two requirements for enjoying our bier. The first, is that we bring bier to the games. Obviously that's the big one. While we rarely have issues with that factor, it's not to be taken for granted. We greatly appreciate it each and every time a Gorilla rolls in with some of that liquid gold. That brings us to number two: the bier must be kept at a drinkable temperature.

We suppose that if we were thirsty enough, or if the hot lesbians encouraged us, we would drink warm bier. But we'd rather not.

Just sayin'.