July 17th Boxscore -or- Craptastic!

Being craptacular is not something to be all that proud of. But sometimes you can be crapilific, and still be just good enough to keep hopes up. The Chicago Cubs have proven that many times over the course of our lifetime.

The Gashaus Gorillas are on a quest to prove it as well, only on a more local, bullshit softball league kinda way. Actually, the many tiers of crapstandingness the Gorillas have touched this year - while somehow still staying quasi-relative - is somewhat impressive.

The game this Tuesday past was no exception. Three Gorillas didn't even bother showing up. BK claimed he was "working," which we took to mean he was looking up cartoon porn on a library computer in Boonville. McGru didn't call, but we can only assume he was drying his "Vegas Is For Lovas" shirt over and over. We don't know where the hell D was, but we're pretty sure he wasn't exercising there.

Knowing this, we postponed Tight Shirt Nite 'till next week so we could enjoy their meaty-midsection wonderfulness again this year. So one would think, without distractions or restrictive clothing, the Gorillas would've been ready to bust loose and put up a 20 spot on some unsuspecting punks with so little imagination they took their name from a crappy movie about dodge ball. One would be wrong.

Instead we were craptastic (some more than others) - yet good enough to win. Didn't see that coming, did ya?

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We continued to roll in crapola after the game as we, for some reason, listened to a poker game on the radio. (Next week we're bringing in a taped recording of the British Open.) Then we ran out of bier and went home not drunk enough to be funny or get laid by our chics, but plenty buzzed to draw attention from Jonny Law. The theme continues.

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It has truly been a mediocre year. So imagine our surprise when we looked up the standings for our league... and found that we have still been good enough to have a chance to win the fucker.

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The Gorillas currently stand at 5-4, and it took a goddam miracle four-game winning streak to get there. Yet we are a scant 1/2 a game behind Dynakleen (who, at 5-3, has a rain-out to make up), and tied with a team we don't particularily like, El Diablo.

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We have two games left. We play Dynakleen this Tuesday. It's Tight Shirt Night. It would seem to us that the only thing left to do, as Jake said in Major League, is "win the whole fucking thing."

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That wouldn't be so craptastic, would it?