Mildly Surprising The World! -or- Power Ballad

The city tourney began last night, and by now you've already heard about the game between lovable underdogs, The Gashaus Gorillas, and the power haus Midwest/Adcraft Softball (playing under the pseudonym: Swat Pest).

We considered typing a complete game write-up - something we rarely do - because the game was so goddam exciting. Seriously, next to the Gorillas signature win over the Gawd Fearin' Bastards to win the league champeenship last summer, this was the most exciting win in the modern Gorilla Era. But today, as e-mails were flying and reporters were calling, we came across this nice write up about the epic win:

Ok, Jeremy Willis hit a screaming line drive off Nick's shin to lead off the game. That really pissed us off!
And then D went all Mark McGwire and put some balls in the stratosphere.
And then Nick went all Rick Ankiel on them and hit a bomb of his own to avenge that huge lump on his shin.
And then Adcraft hit like a gagillion hr's for outs.
And then Dant puked his guts...and more guts. Very Gorilla-esk.
And then Wolfey hit a ball that landed in B's glove.
And then Wolfey hit another ball that landed in D's glove as B just dove for it.
And then they walked Piglet to get to B....and B booped a screaming knuckler over Eagle's head to win the phukin game!
And then Todd Mazzier bad mouthed everyone on his team after the game.
And Elkie peeled out in the parking lot.
The end.

He may have missed a couple things in there somewhere, and we're not totally pleased with the Satanic Fowl references, but it keeps us from typing more and pretty much sums it up.

One thing we would like to point out, just in case someone with a position in the local Parks N Rec office stumbles across this here bloggy-thingy, in the 11 games of the summer league this year, the Gorillas hit exactly five home runs. Last night, using balls left over from last year, we hit eight, plus one for an out. (Oh, and we're not saying this, but we heard some other people saying that the home-plate umpire is an idiot of Paris Hilton proportions.)

So hey, the Gorillas go out again tonight to shock the world yet again, and hell, if we were gonna go thru all the trouble to play three fuckin' hours last night, we might as well win another game tonight and make it worth while.

Gorilla Stats -or- Your Grandma Thinks We're Hot

It's probably obvious to everyone by now... but we thought we'd remind you one more time: The Gashaus Gorillas are the shit.

You can tell because your Granny is holding the two trophies (in two tries) that we've already won this year. More proof is the video here, showing the crowd going nuts as JT hit a bomb in the championship game. (Turn your sound down - the screeching goes straight thru your soul.)

So two down, and two to go. First, the Evansville Parks and Crap Men's Softball tournament. It's a wonderful event in which we'll play games using unbelievably shitty balls on even shittier fields officiated by shittier-still umpires. It'll be awesome.

After that, we'll start dominating some poor fall league under similar conditions.

And all this as we're way past our prime. You can tell that by the stats below. Ugh.

Business As Usual -or- One For The Other Pinky Finger

"Winning Takes Talent, To Repeat Takes Character" - John Wooden

It's been often noted that your Gashaus Gorillas have precious little talent, and hardly any character. What, then, would the Wizard of Westwood make of a 6th straight champeenship?

Our answer: who gives a fuck. Little Jonny may be in the basketball hall of fame as both a player and a coach, be widely regarded as the best coach of all time, save small children from burning buildings, adopt sick puppies from the animal shelter, and be a body-double in the making of the movie about our grandfather's life... but, can he kick our ass?

Okay, he probably can. But what we're trying to get at here, is that the Gashaus Gorillas overcame great obstacles - including a 1-4 start, and notable lack of the aforementioned supposedly important qualities - to win yet another champeenship on Tuesday night.

And we did it while wearing ties.

Believe me, it's harder than it looks. Taking Care Of Business Nite might look like all fun and games but when you don't play till 9 p.m. and you have to win the damn game to win the trophy, it's serious shit.

So we came out in our Sunday best, and gave it our Tuesday average. By the 3rd inning, we were indeed taking care of business. Not like these guys, but close.

And by the time the dust settled, the smoke cleared, and
the game-bier emptied, it was time to crown our asses.

So we find ourselves at the end of yet another summer softball league. We know many of you are worried that you won't be able to fill your time reading our pointless ramblings now, but fier not. For the first time ever the Gorillas will be playing in the city tournament. (While we didn't play together as a team last year, our individual members did pretty well.) And after that, of course, we'll be going for plastic plated piece of crap number seven in the fall league. We may even have a few things to say over the winter this year.

In the meanwhile, here are the highly anticipated pics of TCBNite 2k7. We think there's a link somewhere or another to the photo album thingy on the interwebs... we'll see what we can do to get it up here. If not, screw you. We think we've done pretty well doing this much, considering our vcr is still blinking 12:00.