Gorillas Stats -or- Oh The Humanity!

After awakening Wednesday morning to the New York Post back page headline: "Gorillas' Gruser Goes Gruesomely Lame" I thought it could get no worse for the Gorillas.

I was wrong.

Yes, we had just dropped a game to a bunch of zit-faced bus-boys & bar-backs -- but we'd lost games we should've won before.

Yes, we had just learned that O.G. (Orginal Gorilla) Flemwad had played his last game of the year, as he had been called upon to serve his country -- but it's not like it was Ted Williams going off to fly fighter jets in World War II.

Yes, we had just learned that Busch Light was going to be on sale at Buy Low for $11.99 for a 30 pack this Friday -- oh wait, that was awesome. Disregard that one.

Yes, we knew that Gruser was likely in traction down at the Posey County Veterinarians Clinic, and they probably had shaved his goatee (along with his ass) in emergency surgery -- but it was probably time for a new look for him anyway.

No, what made it even worse, was the telegraph we got from the team doctor later that morning:

"Snyder has broken wrist (again.) Stop.
Will be out 4 to 6 weeks (again.) Stop.
Will likely ignore rehab and stretch injury and whining about it out for a year (again.) Stop.
It was Beans' fault. Stop."

I remember exactly where I was when I read that telegraph again and again. I stood naked eating a bagel in the company kitchenette. A pained look came across my face. I burrowed my brow. I fought back a tear. And I thought to myself, "I really, really gotta remember to get to Buy Low on Friday and load up on Blue Yummies."

So anyway, yah we effectively lost 3 Gorillas in one shitty loss this week past. The MRI results have not come back yet from McGru, but we expect he'll be out for a while, and will probably have to play with one of those cones around his neck to keep him from gnawing on his leg when he does come back.

Luckily, we had a roster of 412 guys this year. Now we're down to eleven. And one of those is Baumgart, who is just an awkward nap at 2 o'clock on a Thursday away from having a back transplant.

Roster moves may be on the horizon for the Gorillas.